Recollections of an Old (but young at heart) Oswestrian, circa 1952 - EPISODE 4, THE CLASS CLOWN

'Cobber' Walton's day had got off to a bad start. The class clown was already in hot water even before the first period of the morning had begun. The tall figure of Mr Williamson, the Headmaster, upon looking round the door of the classroom, spotted a furtive boy, surrounded by a small group of classmates, poring over a magazine concealed under the lid of his desk...

1958 School Trip to Berchtesgarden in Bavaria. Cobber Walton (3rd from back left), Tony Hughes (4th from back left), Jack Greves, 3rd from back right), David Pickup (2nd from back right), George Roberts-Jones (centre front holding a magazine, not Health & Efficiency!)

Espying the look of total concentration on Cobber's face, the Headmaster suspected something was afoot. Never before had he seen that completely absorbed visage ("If only I could reproduce that sort of dedication during one of my Mathematics lessons,"  he must have mused inwardly). Mr Williamson was a Senior Wrangler, and I am not talking an elderly, denim wearing cowboy here!

Cobber and his cronies had been caught red-handed reading a copy of Health and Efficiency, a magazine devoted to naturism!

"Bring it here boy," the Headmaster demanded. "Is this yours?"

"No Sir," said a flustered Cobber lying through his teeth, "I found it on the floor." Mr Williamson brought forth from his pocket the much dreaded large iron key that gave access to the boiler room, and duly landed it firmly on the head of this cringing red-faced miscreant. Temporary punishment having been administered, the headmaster strode towards the classroom door clutching the offending magazine in his hand, and with a backward glance boomed "Come and see me in my office at lunchtime."

We all fell about laughing, and even Cobber had a wry grin on his mischievous face.

Notwithstanding, and undeterred by this episode, Cobber had other plans for later that day after his unscheduled visit to the Headmaster's study. He was planning to liven up class action during 'Papa' Webster's art lesson at two o'clock. Dear old 'Papa', a personal friend of the Headmaster and his wife, was deaf as a post and well into his eighties, but blessed with a firm hand, he could still produce beautiful drawings on the blackboard.

From my seat on the back row of the class, I was in the perfect position to scrutinise my classmates and view the action as it unfolded. Cobber, being Cobber, was at the epicenter where he thrived on the attention. The 'Twins', Danny and Charles Parker-Jones, were typically, and strategically, seated together near the classroom door to enable a quick exit when the bell signified the end of the lesson, and Bernard, a co-conspirator of the class clown was also sat at the rear of the room next to Tony Hughes, a day boy who sometimes invited us out to have Sunday Lunch at his nearby farm. Each of these two, independently of one another, had a daily ritual. Two long rows of sweets were set up along the top of their desks before morning classes, and as the day progressed these would slowly disappear. George Roberts-Jones, another friend of ours, was told to sit near the front as he had to be kept an eye on (another joker in the pack!). George also had morning food action, munching his way through packets of custard cream biscuits which he occasionally shared with me and Bernard. Bernard had by then put all thoughts of dog biscuits behind him and I had finally kicked the Sheba habit apart from an occasional lapse behind the Chemistry lab.

Jack Greves, the brains of the class who went on to become Head Boy, liked to move around the classroom, and I used to kid him that his arm must be sore from constantly shooting it high in the air to answer questions. Jack and I were to become firm friends, but sadly he died very prematurely in a car accident shortly after leaving School.

As the 2 o'clock bell announced the arrival of our art Master, I could see Bernard and Cobber huddled together, deep in a conspiratorial conversation. They had found a mouse in the School Library and the afternoon fun was about to begin!

Join me next week when we will find out more about this mouse...